자기야, 여보, 애기 — what Korean couples call each other (jagiya, yeobo meaning)

In English you can call your partner "honey," "babe" or "sweetheart," and nobody asks if you're married. In Korean, the word you pick says a little about where you are in the relationship. A new couple, an engaged couple and a couple married for 30 years often sound different.

Here are the words you'll hear most, roughly in the order a couple meets them.

1. 자기야 (jagiya): "honey"

This is the classic pet name for dating couples. 자기 (jagi) is the word, and 야 (ya) is a small ending you add when you call someone, like "Hey, honey!"

The National Institute of Korean Language's learners' dictionary translates 자기 as "honey; darling; sweetheart." It says young husbands and wives, or friends, use it to refer to each other.

You can use it two ways:

• To call: 자기야, 어디야? (jagiya, eodiya?) — "Honey, where are you?"
• As "you": 자기는 뭐 먹을래? (jagineun mwo meogeullae?) — "What do you want to eat?"

Heads-up: 자기 has another meaning, "oneself," as in 자기소개 (jagisogae, "self-introduction"). The context tells you which one it is.

2. 오빠 (oppa): "older brother," and more

A woman may call an older boyfriend 오빠 (oppa). The word started as a sibling word, and it still is one. That's why it can sound sweet, playful or just friendly, depending on the moment. We explain the whole sibling set in our guide to oppa, hyung, unnie and noona.

Many women keep saying 오빠 after the wedding, too. Not everyone thinks that's ideal.

In real life, plenty of couples still do it. Just know that some older Koreans may raise an eyebrow.

3. 애기야 (aegiya): "baby"

애기 (aegi) is the everyday, spoken form of 아기 (agi, "baby"). The learners' dictionary points 애기 straight to 아기.

Some couples call each other 애기야, the same way English speakers say "babe." It's very cute and very private. Use it at home or in a text, not in front of your partner's boss. It sits close to 애교 (aegyo), the art of acting cute on purpose.

4. 여보 (yeobo): "dear," for married couples

여보 (yeobo) is the big one for husbands and wives. The dictionary translates it as "honey; darling; sweetheart." The institute's column calls it the best word for spouses, one you can use "from the start of married life, all the way through."

Couples who are only dating usually don't say 여보. If they do, it's often a joke, like "Look at us, an old married couple." If someone calls you 여보, you're probably married to them.

5. 당신 (dangsin): "you," carefully

당신 (dangsin) is tricky. The dictionary lists it as a polite word husbands and wives use for each other, "darling; honey." But it also lists a rude use. Said to a stranger in an argument, 당신 can sound like "Hey, YOU!"

The same column calls 당신 a safe choice between spouses. So between husband and wife it's warm. Between strangers, avoid it. The guide to polite and casual Korean explains why one word can change so much.

The short list

Easy mistakes

Calling your date 여보 on day one. It skips a few steps. Start with 자기 or their name.

Mixing up 여보 and 여보세요. 여보세요 (yeoboseyo) is what you say when you answer the phone, to anyone. See our guide to hello in Korean.

Using 자기 with older relatives around. The same column says many older Koreans find 자기 between spouses hard to listen to. At a family dinner, many couples switch to 여보, or to names.

Quick check

1. Your Korean friend just started dating someone. Which word is she most likely to use? 자기야 or 여보?
2. A stranger shouts "당신!" at you in a parking lot. Is it sweet?
3. What's the difference between 여보 and 여보세요?

Answers: 1. 자기야. 2. Probably not. 3. 여보 is for your spouse; 여보세요 is "hello" on the phone.

Ready to say the big words, too? Read how to say "I love you" in Korean, or try today's 5.

In one line: 자기야 while dating, 오빠 for an older boyfriend, 애기야 in private, and 여보 or 당신 once you're married.